"You are in another part of the world, in another latitude, you are in Greece, in Greece, do you understand?" ~ Henry Miller

"Greek Greek Greek Greek AMANDA KULAGA Greek Greek Greek."

Being paged at the airport is a surreal experience if you're in your *own* country, but hearing it in a completely

foreign tongue first thing upon landing is just about the weirdest thing there is. Just to make things really exciting,

my trip began with my arrival in Athens and my bags deciding to stay in Atlanta. So, while I was waiting on line with the

"Baggace Tracing" department, the poor driver slash coffee shop manager who had been sent to fetch me was worried

that I had jumped on a baggage carousel and died. Hence, the page.

Eventually, I, bagless, jet-lagged, and clad in a purple tank top that was to be my outfit indefinitely, met up

with the kind driver and was taxied to the imposing gates of Athens College-- where I am to be teaching and studying

for the next year on fellowship. After a quick key pick-up, I was dropped off at my new flat in the Neo Psychico

neighborhood of Athens. I was then greeted by my cheerful SoCal roommate who has a spunky blonde haircut, an Ivy League

education, and a bubbly personality. Your basic nightmare. No, but seriously folks, she is sweet as pie and totally fun.

We hit it off right away, and it was obvious that we would be excellent friends and roommates. One less thing to

worry about, eh?

The apartment is awesome. We have two balconies that are frequented by Athens's signature stray cats (one

we've already named "Tomata," which is Greek for, you guessed it-- tomato), a huge kitchen, a foyer, spacious

living room adorned with lots of random knick-knacks left behind by previous fellows (including but not limited to

a coconut), tons of natural light, a decent bathroom with a ghetto shower, a WASHING MACHINE (be still my heart!),

and about quadruple the closet space I had in Brooklyn.

We bought a plant. It's home.

We were told that linens would be provided, and they were, but there is no "set" to be found. Our linen

selection involved a CSI level search for two fitted sheets that yielded us only finding about 700 pillow cases. After some more

sleuthing, the fitted sheet I finally found has cheesy grandma-style flowers on it. My top sheet is Crayola yellow-green

with artsy blue square patterns. I selected two pillowcases: one with abstract blue squiggly shapes on it and another

with two poppies (one red, one gray) on it. My bedspread is hot pink and orange and looks straight from Moracco.

Martha Stewart, eat your heart out.